How To Deal With : H2O no?

Has Anyone Else Asked Who Turned On The Oven?

For the last few months, London felt like Manhattan in August - Sticky, hot, and hardly any breeze to comfort your sweaty & irritable blogger. At night, since we have no fan or air conditioner, we have used ice packs in the hopes of a comfortable nights sleep. By morning cold showers are not just a blessing, they are more necessary than the moon to the ocean current! For the last few nights I've journeyed to the gym for the beautiful air conditioning. Sadly sleeping in the stuffy flat becomes almost impossible. The buildings here in the UK are made to retain heat, since winters are so cold I usually wear every stitch of clothing I own. Now, just thinking about clothing makes me need a shower and some ice water down my throat!

Water...How beautiful, how essential it is in our lives. We flock to the sea shore for the sun and the refreshing embrace of the salty waves. Too cold and we wish it were warmer, too hot and we wish it chilly. Fickle, we are.

Important Liquids & Carbonated Eggs

Yup...This is an egg...

Water is something our bodies need to function properly, yet we seem to forget to carry it around to drink. Humans have put water fountains in schools and public parks, only to discover that some of them are not clean enough to drink from. In my fitness travels, I have seen many a water bottle, and many a forgotten-at-home one at that! Whether you are heading to the gym, the office, or just out for a walk in your back yard, you should be drinking water. They all say it, we all know it. Truth fact is we just don't want to.
What kid has not danced in anticipation, waiting for their parents to let them have that first sip of soda? When I was 10, it was a right of passage to be allowed soda, but I never knew just how bad it was for you. That is until I saw how well Coke can clean a carburetor, or how any soda can do this to an egg. About 6 months ago, I forced myself to kick the habit. Now, if I have any soda at all (which is rarer than a unicorn that's gone cannibal) it would be for a rum and coke or a ginger-ale to sooth mah tum tum! Kicking the soda habit is tough, but really worth it. How many people tell you to drink more water? I have been told many times by doctors, both on tv and in offices, magazines and books to drink more of it, to add lemons or mint to it, to replace it with other drinks. And for an ex-coffee addict, and a person who has finnally kicked the soda-monkey-on-the-back, there was no problem really. It was water, or juice, or tea...otherwise it would be smoothies, malts, or shakes. God those sound good right now... refreshingly cold...Opps! Right now, we gotta get focused up and psyched about H2O!!

Drink-Ability & Plastics

For the Survivalist in us all!

Water needs to be filtered, steamed, cold, clean, to be drinkable. Have you ever tried to purify water without a Brita? I only know of one process, and it uses a big of expensive charcoal. The first filter I had was kicked to the curb when I found that it was leaking little black dots into my drinking water. This doesn't seem like good filtering! Once your water is drinkable-hopefully you don't have a natural disaster screwing up your pipes-how would you carry it around? Just a glass everywhere? A red solo cup at all times? A water bottle!!! "But some water bottles can leak plastic into the drinking water after a while, don't they?" That is a truth fact, yes. Certain brands leak a bit of plastic, but others now have labels that say there is no Bisphenol A or BPA (It's used to keep make plastic stronger. Research says it is not Cancer causing, but that we should avoid ingestion as much as possible). People used to drink out of lead coated tankards, now we are ingesting plastic. Oh, how the future history books will mock that.

Trying to change the history books and he'll just go flippy!

That is why I recommend using glass bottles or non BPA bottles. There are some water brand that come in glass tubes (VOSS), but that can get a bit pricey. If you want to keep some green in your wallet without getting unreasonable then purchasing a non BPA bottle is the way to go. Another glass bottle route comes from our lovely friends at the Snapple Company. If you want some flavored tea (maybe not the best choice of drink out there, at least compared to water, but a great tasty tea!), why not save that bottle? Reuse it for everyday use in your classroom or office? We have a white wine bottle that we keep stocked in the ice box for fresh cold water.

Have The Borrowers Taken Your Old Water Bottles?

With all the options out there today, from buying a bottle everyday or investing in a long term relationship with a plastic buddy (no, not a humming toy), it can all just get a little daunting. How many times, even if you had your own water bottle in your locker or bag, have you just bought that dollar twentyfive aquafina from the vending machine at lunch? Working in theatre, we are taught very early on to leave a work space cleaner than we found it. You can't imagine how many empty plastic bottles, even after a non-theatre class, are left under desks with other trash. Hipsters, Hippies, & Green-Thinkers all say we need to decrease our carbon foot print (and for the record, I completely agree), which has led to a increase in demand for personal and reusable thermoses...but not for soups or coffee.
Many parents, before sleep away camp buses come to take the kids away for the summer, take their offspring to camping supply stores. This is something that I highly recommend. If you are gonna buy one, make sure that it has any and all features you want/need. For example, I want a bottle that can hold more than a pint of water, that can fit into my lunch box-bag & backpack, ice can be put into it, and its BPA free. If you want one that looks like the nanny robot from the Jetsons, or one with some emblem or cute dancing little frog, then be prepared for some sad truths. Unfortunately there are many sticky fingered people out there.

My Favorite Choice

I've had classmates and teammates alike leave their new and expensive bottles on trains, buses or just in classes. Its almost as if they sprouted little plastic legs and buggered off, or the sticky fingered devils strolled off into the middle of the day, pockets full.
However you choose to stay hydrated in this heat wave then chilly summer, just remember to drink any amount of water throughout the day at all all you'll be golden! Just, maybe, don't let your sweaty sticky fingers latch on to a bottle that's not technicality yours...unless you have found this during an apocalypse and need that water bottle to survive. But never trust a canteen, in could be a trap....Dollhouse....

Bye For Now xx

Back In The US of A...And Not Very Okay

I'm Back Babeh!

I am back on beachy soil-sand, and under the scorching summer sun.

I have bumped into quite a few people from my past in the past few days as well. Things have changed yet stayed the same, yet not really..they have totally changed. Half my town feels like a zombie video game scene, thanks to all the dead trees and the basically barren, have not seen anyone in three hours of walking around the main street, feel to it. The only routine thing is the loudness of it all. The yelling, the chores, the quibbling, the fact that our treadmill is covered in pee and boxes of hangers that needed to get thrown out. It sort of feels like I'm not really here. Like its all some dream and I'm walking through this big empty house with only three of my dogs on my heals, and just nothing to do and no one to spend time with. My days are spent trying to workout (but my dog Penny thinks we are playing a game, goes for my legs, and eats my shoes while I'm still in them!), putting sun block on, swimming in the pool for 3 hours around midday, and cooking something healthy for dinner before going to bed in my fantastically comfy but lonely bed. Now that I am back on this side of the pond, all the people who claim they have missed me, and want to go out and do things with me, are just walking past me like I should beg them to join in on their fun which they clearly want me to not be around for. Fine, I get the large bold print hint. I am not needed or desired here, huh? Granted I have seen my Seashell, and spoken to my Song Bird about doing things in NYC soon, but not much else has been happening. After my brilliant night out with Seashell to see Murder Ballad (my fracking God was that show amazing!) and drinking tons of wine, New York has once again lost its luster.

 

Is it just human to long for things from your past? Pleading with the visa department and beeggin to get back into the UK or Italy seems fruitless so far. Right now, I miss London. I miss the cleanness of it, the quiet, the odd emptiness and openness of the streets that can flood with people in under a second. I miss the accents, the perfumes in the air on the tube.
Do we just get nostalgic for these exciting or peaceful places and people, or do we just miss the way we felt there? Were the 90's so fantastic, or was it just that I was young and still learning? Well, the 90's and early 2000's were fracking fantastic, if I blur the bullying and the crippling self doubt away of course.

But now I feel the hot breeze spill into the room and hear the Zicadas humming loud. Over in London I miss new york. I miss the colors from the sea, the breeze, the sun light- Oh the glorious sun how I miss you beaming down on my ready and waiting to get back to normally tan colored skin. So maybe I should stop caring about who wants me here, who doesn't, and who just walks straight through me. Being a tan ghost might have some benefits...like I could get more stuff done...while being more tan?

Wander Lust . . . Level : Expert

As you can tell from my various rants or just my mini bio in that left corner over there, travel is my hobby and my life. I'm just a no good, theatre gypsy running around with my little red suitcase, my neon blue turtle shell of a backpack, and my tiny little brown side satchel. I think I've spent more time in cars and airports than I have in the dentist chair - and that's a lot of my life. Back in my tender years, around 1998, my parents forced my off to sleep away camp. That decision set in motion a course of events that would map out the path for the rest of my life. I realized that I could escape my little world in Long Island and see the rest of one! I loved being on the road, I loved meeting new people, seeing new places, and learning new stories. The wander bug bit me before I even realized it.

My love of music and theatre added to this little wander lust. Not only could I perform anywhere, but I could see and experience people from all over this big blue marble. Have you ever just needed to get out, yearned to grab your bike or your keys and just go?

Most of the time, travel is just an addiction. I love the long day trip on a train, the road trip with the sun beating down on my shoulders, the late nights walking through strange cities with laughing friends and heavy bags. Coming at you live from an airport lounge, cosmopolitan in my hand, all I can say is this is the high life. Sadly I had to say goodbye to Claus, just for now of course (No Break Ups!). Huddled in our little love bubble with three carry on bags draped over us, romance could have been needed. I really wish he was with me here, since Heathrow airport has all these Doctor who paraphernalia around. I can't get too close to them, thanks to my pile of carry-on stuff.

Packing two carry on bags, making sure I have everything I'd need for the duration, and room for gifts to boot is very time consuming. I end up packing for a trip about 6 days before I leave, and then wear pajamas or gym clothes til the day of the trip. Granted, this week was hotter than a house on fire, and I did work out 2 hours per day until my foot flared up, but still. Pigtails and sweat do not a happy blogger make. Especially when my writing conveyance is burning a hole through my leg or my duvet cover! Sometimes I wish laptops were not so essential in today's world, since they weigh so much, get so hot, and take up room in my backpack.  

Since I am currently staring down a flight delay of almost an hour, I figured this would be more productive than drinking my calories here in this strawberry and tangerine lit lounge. It strikes me as funny, people watching here. There are smartly dressed men and women, looking like the Vogue equivalent of 'business CEO style', and average people decked out in denim and cowboy hats. Children are actually scarce, with the exception of infants. Please,  OH Travel God, a sleeping child with no crying or loud screaming! 

I am in for an 8 hour (maybe more thanks to a delay) flight, and I keep praying to the Travel God (who I should find a name for soon!), that we will have a clear flight, some decent in flight entertainment, quiet small children, and fellow passengers who wont reeks or become irate at the fact that I will be doing yoga posses by the bathroom when the seat belt sign gives me my go. Yes, I will even be working out in the air! During long flights, keeping yourself moving helps prevent clots and stress. By no means am I suggesting that we have a gym session in the sky, but a few stretches and some walking will keep you feeling your best. Also, the magic of H2O will help prevent you from getting sick off your flight.

Maybe once I land, and have some time to think about it more, I can write you some ideas for packing or some in flight stretching tips. That's all the advice I can give you ATM, thanks to payable Wifi connections. But while I am in the air, keep yourself sated on some of the older posts!
See you on the other side of the pond!

Bye For Now!

How To Deal With : Avoiding the Binge

Is there nothing more frustrating than a fool running his mouth?

There was this effusive man on the street today that had the nerve to tell me that if person doesn't want to eat when they're bored, then they just shouldn't do it. 

Have you ever tried to sit down and analyze the difference between if you were hungry or bored?

It is difficult task, especially when you are the type of person who only eats generally, due to outstanding over-scheduling. My one true test, the one that has never ever failed, is one I know everyone has faced at some point in their lives. Have you opened a cabinet or fridge only to think, 'eh, nothing looks that good, but I know I want something"? In that moment you are telling yourself,"hey I feel like eating in general right now, not because I am hungry but because I feel like eating." People don't think like that of course - otherwise we would all be healthy physical and mental specimens. This mouthy man got me thinking. Who would actually sit down, think about how they were truly feeling, and then-instead of following a muscle memory habit-decide on a different course of action? Maybe someone who would have been taught the difference between boredom and hunger? It has been 20-something-years and I'm still learning that lesson.

I Dare You To Not Think About Pink Elephant Cookies!

Pink Elephant Cookies??

If someone tells you not to think about a pink elephant, all you can do is think about that fuchsia son of a bitch, right? So, by the same logic, when you are not supposed to think about something or do something that's all your mind can focus on. The same thing happens when at home, minding your own business, your only sudden desire is food. You think you might be crazing that little nosh. But you are not only indecisive about what you want to eat, but the quantity holds no shape in your mind either.  Oh sure, you can test yourself to make sure you are famished (see below for details), but who knows you better than yourself? Belief is a strong thing, ask any God-believing person, but denial is stronger, ask any shitty parent.

When a person is running on a high emotional level (sadness, anger, stress) the same thoughts creep in. This reasoning runs deeper than a mere fancy, it has become a habit. We see it all the time in film, sit-coms, literature, and commercials. Humans finding solace trough booze, drugs, and food is viewed as an average everyday thing, until it becomes abusive. And most people excuse it, calling it a normal and healthy response. It may be tasty, it may be normal, but it should not become your normal if you want to feel confidant about your appearance. Finding solace through food is the number one way of releasing control over your fitness dreams. This habit will further your rationalization that not only will eating that entire family pack of chips make you feel better, but that by repeating this action during this situation you'll feel better. The band-aid approach will only last so long! 

Hypocrisy Drives Me Dizzy...Sort of Like Stupid People

"Bad day? I'll get the cheese cake!"

It is a complete catch 22. 
Old habits die hard, and this one's a doozie from the whole of human response. Some people will say the most obvious of facts, just so they will sound like they know what they are talking about. They claim they know how you feel, because they have themselves faced similar conditions. The sad fact is that people who push phrases like,"What passed the lips, stays on the hips," are making judgments about you, themselves, and prove that humans are hypocritical by nature.

"Don't think about food.You are trying to loose weight, so count the calories, but don't obsess."
"Don't eat when you are bored either. You should learn the difference."
"Do not eat past 8 o'clock at night if you want to look good."

Others never know the journey of the people around them. To tell someone how to think, or feel, or act is an irrational and judgmental way to go through this life. I'm handing my personal list of busy work. If, like myself and a few of my friends, you feel like you need some help avoiding the binge fest in your kitchen, then maybe some of these tricks will help. Anytime I want a little snack, but have just eaten, will be soon, or should be getting to bed but cannot sleep, these are tasks that help me stay in control. No, I don't just rush off to the gym every time I need a distraction. . . I'd get all dizzy. 

 Ways to Avoid Mid-Meal Misdemeanors

1. Indulge in something filling but empty. If you are not sure if you are hungry, drink water. You will feel full if you are not actually hungry, and the bonus of getting hydrated is always helpful...especially during the hot days we are in for!
2. Avoid It. Chew Ice, Gum, or my absolute favorite, Listerine stripes. You stay hydrated, and minty to boot!
3. Distract From It. If you're not sure you're hungry, and have already had water but still want something, distract yourself with something that requires your full participation and attention. (I like doing my nails, especially if it is late at night, or other beauty tricks. Sometimes I'll brush and floss my teeth with extra attention, or I will try a new face mask. Teach yourself a new hobby or trick, like sewing or cross-stitching. I like learning new songs or monologues. . . or, you know, grab a good page turner of a book or hit up some Internet page you love to read! Wink Wink )
4. Get Out & Get Active. All you need is a good walk, a bit of fresh air, or a swim to fully feel yourself. (Maybe then the realization that you probably should have had a snack will dawn on your pretty head and you will feel less guilty for mid-meal snacking.)
5. Cave In To It. Sometimes the habit gets the better of you, and feeling guilty about it is just pointless. You want results, work hard. Don't punish yourself, all you'll get is a complex! You want better or faster results, work harder! Never deny yourself anything...except maybe bad things...like super chemicals...or dangerous stuff.

To give into a binge does not grant one permission to berate oneself. It means you fell back on an old habit, one that does not benefit you in any longer term way. Perhaps that was too many ones, but you get my meaning. To gain healthy means to give up old and unhelpful patterns- be they food related or simple notions from a fool's open mouth.

Blow It off with a kiss, and walk away...

Bye For Now XX

Work Outs, Work Outs Everywhere, But Not A One For Me??

"Accentuate the positive, 

Eliminated the negative,

Latch on to the affirmative.

Don't mess with mister in between!" 

 

The Commandments of Stupidity Health

From the tender age of 8, I have truly seen it all when it comes to weight loss and flawed logic. Fat camp does not work. At least when you are not taught the math behind weight loss/gain, or anything about portions sizes. Oh yes, you hear all the lessons:

1. Love yourself. Be confidant of who you are. (Don't allow others to make you feel bad)
2. Bully yourself about the number on the scale or that size. (Let others and yourself judge that number or shape)
3. Constantly think about not over eating food, or eating when bored, or food in general. (Worry about calories with no true idea about how portion sizes work.)
4. Stay Active, always! (Run, jump, dance, walk, play sports, do aerobics or yoga. but never ever get lazy - even when tired, sick, or in pain)

 Please God, Get Me Out of This Talk Circle And I Will Do More For The Earth!

But how are these helpful? Most of my memories about fat camp are grim when I look on them now. Not the over all experience, of course. Kids can make any situation a nightmare or a heaven, and I did love those woods. I was a dreamer kind of kid, one who thought awful things about myself, but never about my talents or my confidence. All of my bitterness was about being fat, and the idea that people treated me horridly for that mere fact. At that age, it didn't matter how active I was. Exercise was a solitary activity in my house. My mom would make me wake up at 5am to go to the gym before school five days a week and signed me up for sports too. No one in my house wanted to go for walks or bike rides with me for enjoyment. Always a punishment, never a joy. A popular punishment for rule breaking at fat camp was to run up a hill we nicknamed 'heart-attack hill', or to go for an early morning run before the long day of working out. But all the camp fire circle therapy sessions singing songs about confidence will never actually do anything. Yes, confidence is important. To want health is key to achieving that goal. But to a kid who knows very little about how the human body gets fat other than "oops I ate too many cookies", knowledge is vastly more important!

Think about it!

If you cannot loose or gain weight like others, would it not be helpful to find out why? Hell fucking yes. People are different. Some have food allergies, food sensitivities, or a chemical issue. It may not be the amount of food they ingest, but the types of foods. I can honestly say that after almost 20 years dealing with weight issues, not one person has shown or taught me how to measure food properly. Oh, I have been told to measure my intake, I have seen the funny visuals of 5lbs of fat versus 5lbs of lean muscle, and the food pyramid. Never how many calories are in a serving of fruits or veggies. Many diets, foods that come per-packaged or powdered, many nutritionists pushing for those or who want to write out a meal plan for me without explaining anything about it to me. Any one else realize this?

Math & Cake Are Lies!!

You can be told the same thing over and over, but never actually get shown what the meanings are to that math equation? And yes, it is all MATH! This is why we are taught math guys, so we could calculate money, time, and calories!

The Greedy & The Ill Informed

I was totally fed up with asking for help from people who mostly wanted me to look unrealistic within weeks, or just wanted my money and cared nothing for the human aspect of lifestyle changing. Sadly, most personal trainers I have worked with (and please remember that I have done extensive personal research since "Got Milk" Ads were still collectables!) were not very knowledgeable about much. They know the basics of course; the machines in the gyms, some sports drills, and perhaps enough knowledge about protein powders to try and make you buy them. But God forbid you ask for anything more personally oriented, like how can I achieve this goal result with this particular obstacle? That is nothing compared to those membership pushers, those non-P.T.'s who are trying to sign you up from that day pass or week pass to a full time contract that you will never get out of without many lawyers and maybe a paintball gun. One woman I used to take a spin class with was accosted by a front man personal trainer who had recently lost some clientele. He knew she had purchased a few monthly passes, but never anything longer than that. This was due to her job, she traveled more times that year than most people travel in lifetimes, and she was not shy about sharing that. He didn't seem to understand that however, and hovered around every station she visited throughout her gym time that day. He used every sale tack tic in the book. That is, until he began to not only disrespect her but became physically threatening. Not only did she stop buying her monthly pass, she calmly and quietly called him a penis, spit on him, walked out after 20 minutes into an hour workout.

The Death of Everyday Trust

Seriously, who can you trust these days about getting healthy and stronger? Your doctor? Nah, he/she costs too much money for advise you can research on Google or medicines that may do more harm than good. Your health teacher? Sorry, they know mostly 'keep active' notions and about sex stuff. Maybe a Personal Trainer who you don't see regularly? Nope. You know what I want? Do you know what I truly believe we all deserve?

 

Somebody who knows what the hell they are talking about! Someone who has not only the knowledge of all that food and portion control info, but can also teach it to me! So that it will stick in my head, or at least I can print off a cheat sheet of info! So fuck it.

I have decided that no one knows what is best for me, other than me! I am not gonna seek help from people who are not willing and adequitly able. I will do it all on my own, with the help of my Pinterest health board, the 12 Week Workout, and my food diary. With you all behind me, I know I cannot fail. However, it is still up to me...

 

Bye For Now X

It Ain't Easy Feeling Green

“Health is the natural condition. When sickness occurs, it is a sign that Nature has gone off course because of a physical or mental imbalance. The road to health for everyone is through moderation, harmony, and a 'sound mind in a sound body'.”
― Jostein Gaarder, Sophie's World

Being sick is nothing short of hell. 

Your head aches from swollen sinuses and mucus. Your bed has become the Gravitron ride, never ceasing its infernal spinning. Your stomach feels too full and wont stop jitter bugging. There is no control over body temperature or the room's air supply! There is no dam to ebb the flow of your fever sweat. Every stitch of fabric is trying to snuff your life out, but it is better than being outside the protection of it in the harsh 'cold' room. Sneezing hurts, and no amount of soft tissues will sooth the burn that's encasing your nostrils! Your lungs are having a tea party outside in the garden every time you cough, and your throat cough light up Amsterdam its so red! You're achy all over and just want to sleep. No matter how tired you are, sleep eludes you.

However, none of that is worse than missing something you have been waiting weeks for due to illness or injury. I have had to miss three fun days out due to awfulness! I was so tired and busy, I have not even checked the blog. Sorry y'all. Needed some rest desperately! I missed a goofy party, a live game show, and the Pride parade! Thank god for fantastic friends, or my theatre tickets would have gone to a total waste too! 

Is it just me, or do people judge others severely when they are ill or injured?

I always feel guilty when I cannot attend something or do something because I am under the weather or my foot has decided to become troublesome again. It makes me self-conscious. People will think less of me or look at me in a different light because of it. At least, that is what the little voice in my head says. That's the reason I usually push myself to go further, to do more, when I am feeling lousy of in a bit of pain. I once broke my ankle and performed in a walking cast that same day. A few weeks later, in another show, I was doing cartwheels in that same walking cast. All so I could show how dedicated I was, to prove I was reliable and could pull through. An ankle is no foot though. And an injury is not illness.

Honestly though, what blows more than missing out on fun due to . . . well, blowing chunks? Sorry for the visual, and the tacky puns, but a party girl is loosing out on fun due to tummy troubles. Whatever was bugging me has finally been resolved! The relief is undeniable and unending! I think the only truly good thing about being sick . . . possibly the way you can kinda let go and accept doing nothing. I can watch cartoons, eat matzo ball soup, listen to an audio book. Nothing really that physically or mental active. Just enough that I can distract myself from feeling icky. 

Was Getting Sick Better When We Were Small? Do I Remember That Wrong?

When we were kids, our parents had ways they would take care of us (or not, if you had a different sort of childhood/parenting situation going on). My mom always makes chicken noodle soup with broken angle hair pasta, extra celery, and would bring me lime juice. My dad would make very un-amusing jokes about me being sick, or tell me stories about how he was sick back in the day. I cannot tell you the amount of times I've heard the story of how he got drunk, ruined his mother's brand new carpets, and was told he'd get to sleep in the backyard if he was not better house trained. The punch line of this tale from my father's childhood? He got to sleep outside the second time he pulled that. Sometimes the five of us would just sit together. Other times I was kinda left in my room so no one else would get sick, and mom would check on me. She'd come bearing gifts (of soup, water bottles, a towel, a magazine, a thermometer, medicines) and then be off. When you live in a house with three kids, and only one of them is sick, you are desperately trying to keep everyone as healthy as possible.

 

Wish I had thought about the oven mitts!

I could miss school, I could stay in bed all day to paint, relax, do my homework that was due the next day. Being a kid and being sick was the best, unless it was serious sick. Like the chicken pox! That was a hell of a bad time! I remember throwing up right before my mom saw the first dot, in front of my entire first grade class. Not smart was I. She taught me what to do instead of scratch, slap the spots or put on calamine lotion. Any and every itch was met with the same love as a mosquito on the back of your neck.

What do you do when you are sick?

But now, my audience, we are but humble 20 somethings who have just flown the nest. We are just starting out on our own, living in our own spaces, working mind numbing or fun filled jobs. How do we handle getting sick? Do ya journey on, pretending you're healthy until it's true? Do you 'keep a stiff upper lip' and pop some medicine to get through the day? How do any of us cope with illness and injury, now that we are not only responsible for ourselves, but for our jobs too? Someone, anyone, please tell me.  

Bye For Now XX

Summer Reading List 2013

*  Summer Reading List  *

*  2013  *

Welcome girls and boys to another list of books to read during your summer break!

But look how pretty the day is?

It's June 23, and you may have started your summer vacations. Mine must be lost in the mail! Have y'all been lying under the sun, getting sand in all your shoes and clothes, jumping into swimming pools or the sea, eating watermelon and pop sickles? Made you believe we had nothing up our sleeves huh? Oh, you thought you were free from this year's homework, didn't you? Liberated this year from your summer assignments since you didn't receive it in the mail 2 weeks ago, huh? Well too bad! We are just not an efficient school mailer. We got caught up in paperwork and a general lack of free time, but you have it now!

Damn I envy you all. I mean, I may have always looked forward to the reading assignments summer would bring, but that was mostly because I loved reading in between the fun moments of sunshine! I've been in England, where it feels like early spring in NY. All clouds, wind, awkward rain, and always needing a sweater! Come on weather Gods, what gives?! I didn't move to the Bay area! I'm not hunting for glittering bastards up in the pacific northwest! I miss the heat, the sunshine, the coconut oil! Even the stench of Manhattan in Mid July!

    

The Summer of Experimenting! 

Since the weather is driving me indoors most of the time, and my paint-by-numbers habit costs money, I needed something to do that will entertain without breaking the bank. I really want to broadening my recipe horizons. Last year, one of the books required some pretty pricey tools. And even though I borrowed most of 'em, I will never get another 'parts sold separately' toy again. I searched for new volumes that had minimal fancy tools, cheap/healthy ingredients and could all be created in a minuscule kitchen like mine. Seriously, Harry Potter's under the stairs bedroom was roomier!

"I have to get up, someone's keeping my past relevant"

The tricky factor was the ingredients. I have to read all the labels meticulously, not just for calorie obsession or salt intake. Did you know all those 'heart healthy' cheerios are actually high in sodium? I have some dietary limitations now (new food allergies replacing old ones and food sensitivities) and strong vigilance over what passes my lips is ever more vital. Nothing like being a trypanophobic who carries an Epi-pen to make you remember to be careful! Stocking my pantry with all safe yet delicious ingredients my body wont try to kill on sight is a start. But not all of the recipes I have now exclude those now deadly, or gaseous, fixings."Replace them then, Ashley! Just switch that ingredient for something you can eat." Well, thanks but sometimes that means the recipe wont taste the same or something will go wrong. Looking for recipes without alternations needed has been my task!

1. The Homemade Pantry: 101 Foods You Can Stop Buying & Start Making by Alana Chernila 
This book was mentioned to me a few times over the course of my perusals. I love making things from scratch, and I'd rather earn my tasty unhealthy treats. A book promising to have a healthier recipe than the store bought original, sounded way too good to be true. It has some great ideologies: make it yourself and you'll know what is in it, and a shoestring budget never has to sacrifice delicious food and fun times. Alana, our culinary guide, is a woman who has done just that. She discusses the theories her cover advertises, the gadgets she uses throughout the pages, and how to properly use your freezer! Now, my freezer can hold about 1 ice cub tray and some frozen meat/fish. This section might not help me until I can upgrade to a bigger kitchen.

2. The Smitten Kitchen by Deb Perelman
Any time I need some kitchen inspiration on the quick, I always jump to The Smitten Kitchen online. Every recipe from the website I have tried has been amaz-balls! Hopefully, this book will not just be a compilation of the website directory. I am sure that Deb won't let me down. This beautiful, witty, travel obsessed lady is someone I would love to meet in person - to give her the biggest hug in the world! She is one of my cooking idols, a woman who travels the world, cooks, and makes a living by her wit and talents! If you cannot tell, I find her amazing. Not only have these recipes caught my eye, but I am hoping to add this book to my permanent collections.

3. Honestly Healthy: Eat with your body in mind, the alkaline way by Natasha Corrett
As previously stated, I need me some Star Veggie dishes. And where else would I find these amazing recipes, but among the Vegetarians and Vegans? I respect the veg heads who are dedicated to the cause out of true need or belief, not the 'occasional' veggie. I tried going V once and it turned into a family joke how I lasted two weeks before I realised I needed some fish. But I truly don't know how to make a main meal out of 'em unless it is a salad, a stir fry, a curry, or stick nibbles. Honestly Healthy seems like a good place to start.   

4. The Green Kitchen: Delicious and Healthy Vegetarian Recipes for Every Day by David Frenkiel
I have heard nothing but amazing things about this book. Apparently, veg heads and carnivores alike would love these unique and delicious plates. There are even desserts in this one! I love finding out how to make new soups and stews, but vegan chocolate truffles will be a new adventure entirely. This 'cooking with the seasons' theme might make the table a little less leafy green come winter, but some root veg mains will be an amazing addition to stew season!

5. Vegetable Literacy: Cooking and Gardening with Twelve Families from the Edible Plant Kingdom, with Over 300 Deliciously Simple Recipes by Deborah Madison
Veggies are always needed in your meals, or so I have been told. Don't like 'em? Well, sorry, but we are not little kids anymore. Brussels sprouts are always gonna get the yuck face from me. I will never force veggies down, but why not make them delicious? Make them the main attraction and not the side salad? All these vegetarians have something I like, veggie recipes. I like meat but ever since my sad day of rabbit stew murder fest '13 I could stay on a break from critters for a while. Well, maybe not chicken breast or tuna in cans, but no faces for awhile!!! 

6. Healthy Breakfast Recipes by Alissa Carter
I am hoping for this breakfast encyclopedia to help me. Almost all the foods I cannot have are first meal orientated. I mean, come on! The most important meal of the day, especially for weight loss, and it is trying to kill me from the inside. Mutiny on your own time breakfast foods. . . like when I'm 90 and begging for jello! Basically, I need to find foods for that meal. So far when people see me munch on a tomato like an apple on the early morning transport, I get a lot of advice on eating regular meals. From strangers! IN LONDON!?! Really odd reactions, trust me, for not being in the states. SOS food Gods, a meal is missing. May this red checkered bible show me the word of . . . BREAKFAST!

But sometimes I will just grab that toast and say:



 

Enjoy your summer of reading and adventure!!

Bye For Now X

How To Deal With : Sleep Deprivation and Ramblings

After a night of insatiable insomnia, still have absolutely no idea as to the why or how of it BTW, and sleeping all throughout the day I am now wired near 1:30 in the frackin morning. Should I grab that sleeping pill by my bedside and drift the night away, or try to stay awake all night again in the hopes that my hours will revert back to daytime creature soon? I miss my morning routine! You know, wake up at 5 am all bright eyed and bushy tailed, head off to the gym for an intense 2 hours of sweat and smiles, and hit the ground running for the rest of the day. Maybe take in a show after a 10 hour day, or go out dancing til 3 am and start all over again.

But lately it feels like I am in a rut...a schedule one.

Do those exist? 

With not much to do during my days, unemployed and out of school for now, you'd think my apartment would be a bit cleaner. But cleaning is usually what I do when I am agitated or angry or worried or stressed...let's just say that you see me in a clean version on my room means I've been beating it up. But is this usual? Once out of school, waiting for someone, anyone really, to higher you for any one of the thousands of jobs you've applied for is kinda just a waiting game. I've heard the joke all my life about how actors are just waiter who struck luck, but honestly are we not all just waiters? Not the food server people, they seriously are amazing and I don't know how they can stay chipper in the face of ass-hole customers. I mean, are we not all just waiting?

Think about it. When you are a kid, you are waiting to be grown up. When you are a teenager, you are waiting for college. In college, you are waiting for that dream career to start. And then you graduate...and you work, but its not the dream job. Not this job, no, this one's my 'money-to-survive' job. I specifically remember hearing when I was a kiddie in the park from my dad that there was this path. A success and life path. You start in childhood, got through the school system and get good grades, get into a good college/university to receive a high degree, and then get the job that is the stepping stone to the career you always wanted. Then you work in your career, making money to support yourself and have enough money in the bank to own outright your own house somewhere. Throughout this time you date people, but never get into anything serious. Find someone you love who loves you back, marry them, and buy a house to live in with your kids. During all this time you must also save up for when you get old, and will have medical bills and stuff.

Wasn't this a great movie ? ! ? !

I know, a lot to tell a kid, right? But this path stuff was shoved down my throat for years until I believed it was my own belief. Worse than crazy catholic nuns with left handed people, my hand to God...Oops. God pun.
Kids are constantly told that, until they are 18, their lives belong to their parents. Their social lives happens underneath and in between the scheduled world of the adults around them. We are always waiting for our lives to begin, in our bedrooms or in the hallways of some a-typical high school. So much so that when it is our turn we have no idea. We can spend our whole lives waiting for our chance, that fleeting tiny flash of perfection that is truly ours, but we could miss it in a New York minute. 

Boom! 

Snap!

Poof!

Now you are in charge of other people, making sure that they have everything they need. The focus is on them, making sure they come first instead of ourselves. Oh adulthood, what a perfect trap you are.

Anyways, maybe I should pop that NyQuil ZZZ pill. Non-addictive or habit forming, I swear! No itchy wrists or drug addiction here. I'm nowhere near that interesting. I know they say sex and pain sells, but that is not on the menu here on this 'health and ranting' blog I am running.
Sleep well to those of you who can.

I am off! But before I beg my pillows for a sweet dream, here is a list of some of the stuff I have done to occupy the hours I was meant to be silent and sleeping.

How To Occupy the Silent Hours when Sheep Just Wont Do It!

1. Silent workout (mostly yoga, crunches, leg lifts, and stretches)
2. Sketch, Draw, Creative yet Silent stuff (paint it out, or doodle)
3. Write (blog stuff, correspondence, to do lists for the rest of the week)
4. Fold clothes
5. Listen to music (tried unsuccessfully not to dance around)
6. Watch Buffy, Archer, and Victor/Victoria on the TV
7. Pamper Myself (nails, trim hair, tweezers brows)
8. Down a HUGE water bottle

What do ya'll do to get through bad nights like these? Please tell me. Totally willing to try anything just short of bad for my health or tattooing myself in the face. 

Bye for Now x

How To Deal With: Old Injuries 1 (The Morning of the Cripple)

When an old injury acts up, usually it doesn't mean you cannot continue your day right? Maybe pop a few pain killers or some anti-inflammatory pills, and you can push through the day until you can climb back into be and ice it. But when you have an injury to the foot, and one that has required not 1 but 2 major surgeries, your day is shot. Well, to be more accurate, what you had planned on being your day is shot, and a new kind of day unfurls at your...feet...
horrible pun...

 

A lisfranc injury - one you should actually only get if a horse stomps on you, not if you slide 6 feet, barefoot, in a rehearsal space during an acting class warm up at 9 in the morning - is a bitch. You wake up one day, it is a little stiff. you spend about 15 min in bed making sure it is okay to walk on, by stretches and exercises you have learned from over a year of Physical therapy, and then carry on with your day. That night you elevate it for a little while. I am supposed to ice it at night, or whenever it hurts badly, but I don't. Where am I to get ice on a train in the middle of London?? But some mornings, you forget to elevate it the night before (for like 2 weeks), and you do your morning's 15 minute check-if-I-am-good-to-walk test and all seems fine. Until, even through the fog and dreaminess of your sleepy brain, you put your foot on the ground and try to stand. And instantly you are awake, eyes bugging out of your head cause it is 7 am, people are sleeping so you cannot cry out, and your brain tells you in a frightened sad voice, 

"I don't think you can make that long commute today. Yesterday you had no seat on either side of the train journeys and walked back to the house when you should have taken the bus."

After hating myself for about 10 whole minutes, I tried to convince myself it wouldn't be so bad, that I could do it! A good pep talk can make armies run to battle, a girl feel confidant in herself enough to head to school, but not today. The second I tried to bare weight on that injured foot again, I knew I couldn't do it. I wouldn't have been able to walk down the stairs to put my shoes on. Or put my shoes on! So, hating myself for an additional 10 minutes, solely thinking about how my class needs me, and I must get to school to help them with our stuff, my boyfriend just stares at me. Worry, mixed with a bit of awe at the conversation in my head maybe, and trying to put his foot down...god I hate these puns...about making me stay to nurse myself for tomorrow and relax today.

Now I am in bed, with three elastic tension bands, an ice pack, a laptop, and a cheap top-up mobile to call into school to let them know I cannot come in. You feel guilty with an injury like this. You are needed or are desperately excited to do something vital for the day, but you have to take care of your injury instead. After a while, some people - who shall remain name-less on here but not face-less in my head - have thought I was milking my pain out so I could get out of doing things, or faking the injury for attention. 

Trust me bitches, FUCK YOU. 

 

If I could fake this, I would be so much happier. Then I could wear high heels again, dance all night and still be fine to go to the gym in the morning. I hate that this happened to me. I was isolated in a room for 3 months after the first surgery, my whole summer spent in doors and in such horrible pain (I had to crawl down the stairs, more than once, to use to bathroom. You don't know dignity until you had to hop on one leg for 3 weeks every time you had to throw up or pee or god forbid both.). Then, not fully recovered, pretended that the pain had ebbed and went to school in another country. Anytime it was unbearably awful, I had to tell a faculty member, and it was embarrassing. The second summer of pain was not as bad, because I know knew the joys of the internet (previously, all I used it for was research and online games. I now know of reddit, pinterest, and other just addictions) and what to expect of the pain. 
Today is the first in many weeks I have been physically halted in my tracks...fucking puns...

I will be fine, is my mantra. 
It will get better, the other mantra. 

I hope so, inner me. I do hope so.

Bye For Now!